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Conflict management skills are one of those talents some people are better at than others but being able to turn down the heat in a conversation and find a solution is a powerful leadership competency that can be used where we work, where we play, and even at home in our personal lives.
And who better to talk about this delicate subject than the founder of a call sales center, a business whose daily bread a butter deals with the conflict surrounding unwanted solicitations and complaints!
What You’ll Discover About Conflict Management Skills:
* The conflict management skills most people are missing
* The factors contributing to the lack of conflict management skills development
* The role of control in conflict management
* The importance of self-awareness in conflict management
* And MUCH more.
Guest: Richard Blank
Richard’s journey in the call center space is filled with twists and turns.
When he was 27 years old, he relocated to Costa Rica to train over 5000 employees for one of the larger call centers in San Jose. With a mix of motivational public speaking styles backed by tactful and appropriate rhetoric, Richard shared his knowledge and trained over 10 000 telemarketers. Richard Blank is the Chief Executive Officer for Costa Rica’s Call Center since 2008.
On a personal note, Richard has the largest collection of restored American Pinball machines and antique jukeboxes in Central America, making gamification a strong part of CCC’s culture.
Related Resources:
If you liked this interview, you might also enjoy our other Communications episodes.
Contact Richard and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and YouTube.
Also check out his blog and business call center.
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Easy Ways to Improve Business Conflict Management Skills with Richard Blank
Conflict management skills are one of those talents some people are better at than others but being able to turn down the heat in a conversation and find a solution is a powerful leadership competency that can be used where we work, where we play, and even at home in our personal lives. And when we come back, we’ll find out how we can get better and improve our conflict management skills, so stay tuned.
This is Business Confidential Now with Hanna Hasl-Kelchner helping you see business issues hiding in plain view that matter to your bottom line.
Welcome to Business Confidential Now, the weekly podcast for smart executives, managers, and entrepreneurs looking to improve business performance and their bottom line. I’m your host, Hanna Hasl-Kelchner, and today, I’m excited to welcome Richard Blank to the show.
Richard is the chief executive officer for Costa Rica’s Call Center. When he was 27, he relocated to Costa Rica to train over 5,000 employees for one of the larger call centers in San Jose. And over the years, he’s also trained over 10,000 telemarketers. So, he knows a thing or two about conflict management, which I’m hoping he’ll share with us today.
Welcome to Business Confidential Now, Richard.
Hanna, I’m so happy to be here. Thank you very much for having me on your show to share ideas with you and your amazing audience.
It’s great to have you, Richard. You know, we all know that people don’t reach out to call centers to tell them how great they’re doing. And as for telemarketers, well, when we get those kinds of calls, we’re usually less than enthusiastic. So, resistance and conflict are baked into the nature of the beast of what you do. As a result, managing conflict and helping your employees improve their conflict management skills is an important part of your work that I’m hoping we can learn from.
In your experience, what conflict management skills are most people missing?
I believe, Hanna, that most people are missing active listening skills to be much more engaged in conversations to get that first call resolution, build rapport, keep a client, save a marriage, and those are the sort of things that we try to instill here but I think the first conflict, Hanna, is an ethical conflict.
If somebody is making a phone call that they shouldn’t or trying to earn a living where they might be compromising their morals, that’s the sort of thing they shouldn’t be doing and you shouldn’t be receiving those types of calls. So, as long as somebody is doing a job with good faith and good intentions, then by all means, they should put their best foot forward.
Well, I’m sure people that are making those calls believe that they’re making a good faith effort. And they’re trying to make an honest living, which is fair, but they do encounter conflict, I’m sure, with people being less than happy when they answer a phone. That’s if they’re even picking it up. And so, what factors do you think contribute to a lack of conflict management skills? Because it’s one thing to get the call and it’s another thing to respond and maybe respond in a not so nice fashion.
Oh, of course, you could always be catching somebody at their worst day, at the worst time, and then you could be getting them on their birthday. So, they will take the call and do a deal with you but I believe in respecting somebody’s time. You are entering into their homes. You’re unannounced and uninvited; doesn’t mean that you can’t buy 30 seconds of time and to see if you will be able to move conversations forward.
So, I think before anybody does any sort of selling, Hanna, they should get a pass to pitch. Maybe the first 30 seconds should just be proper introductions or even using some sort of anonymity to say a company name better than a gatekeeper, or there’s nothing illegal or unethical about saying somebody’s name well. Because if someone says my name, Richard, in a certain tone, as you were mentioning, I might also say, “Do I know you,” or, “Hey, you sound like a good friend of mine.”
So, there’s nothing wrong with starting with a confident and empathetic tone with somebody. It just might increase your chances of buying time, getting a pass to pitch, and properly representing yourself on a call. I think that’s your best initial foundation, Hanna.
All right. Well, that might get your foot in the door, but I’d still like to zero in on this conflict management piece of it because at some point, somebody’s going to realize, I’m not interested in what you have to say or what you have to sell. And just even taking out of the call center telemarketing context, I’m trying to see what skills are transferable to other types of situations where you want to turn down the heat in a conversation. What can we learn?
Kinds of things versus taking copious notes and speaking, second, because what you might think is a priority could be something that they’re not even interested in. A lot of the times, the potential client, or existing client will disclose to you the areas of improvement or the areas that they like. These are also areas to possibly get a referral and upsell and a retention, but in my opinion, it almost should be a two for one in the beginning.
Allow them to speak twice, and you got it once. Also, there are certain soft skills, Hanna, that you can implement in regard to using a name drop for transitional sentences, asking for clarification or edification when somebody is describing something compared to excuse me, or I didn’t get that. Those are the sort of things that could provoke a rabbit hole or an emotional response. There’s also the pronoun drops because every sentence has one.
It’s either your and are, and these could be the trigger words because non-visually, if you’re not in a Zoom call, to be able to keep somebody’s attention every 30 seconds, let’s just say. And then you also know when to interject a rebuttal or a tie down question to see if things make sense, sounds good, or which one do they like out of the long list of services you’re offering? And so just like the show, Get Smart, you can master levels in close doors. And as a boxer takes around, they also take it by minute and by second.
And if somebody is in the now, Hanna, and they’re eliminating things that are unnecessary and focusing on the good, there’s a very good way that this conversation could be prolonged to where the potential client feels like they’re in control while all you’re doing is just not manipulation, but you’re allowing them to express and you’re adjusting accordingly.
Well, that’s fascinating. You just covered a whole bunch of stuff, Richard, that I’m not sure we can even explore all of it. I’m interested in this idea of control being shifted. How does that happen?
Several ways. You can discuss it through the tone of the voice, and I don’t match someone’s negative tone. I prefer to them to be positive and excited but you should try to pay conscious attention to how fast and how loud they’re going because the positive or negative reinforcement and feedback could be an interruption or crosstalk. You’ll know how to dance with them. You know when to take turns.
But here’s the best one, Hanna. I believe in similes, and since English is their second language, I can’t stress enough the thesaurus to be able to expand the vocabulary. And one of the best examples I can give you, and it’s probably the most simple one is instead of helping somebody, Hanna, you and I can adjust the helping tone to a guiding tone, assisting tone, and my ultimate favor because it gives you a visual as well, lending-a-hand tone.
So, these are ways that we can send back because action creates a reaction. If they’re being negative with me, I can buffer it. I can name drop it, let them know it’s a great question, showing active listening and sending it back. So, it’s massaging the tone and it’s adjusting it that way. There’s no cold turkey and there’s no 90-degree angles. These are things like in a tug of war, my friend, are adjusted accordingly.
But as long as you hold your ground, once again showing active listening confirmations and moving forwards and even giving check points, allowing them to know that they’re doing well and if there’s a dog in the background passively aggressively letting them know you love dogs, but backing it up with the second and third question, the name, and the breed, so they know to put the dog outside because it’s too loud on the call. And these are the sort of things that you can do, strategically, to prevent instead of cure on these phone calls, Hanna.
All right. Well, not all conflict happens over a phone call and some people just actively dislike conflict and avoid it. What advice do you have for them?
Let’s just say it’s face to face. I believe in energy givers and energy suckers. If someone is giving you energy, look straight in their eyes. But if they’re intimidating you, if they’re yelling at you, making you uncomfortable and off balance, there is a trick. Look in between their eyes. It really does look like you’re looking in their eyes, but they’re not going to get you off balance. That’s number one.
Number two, when you’re not speaking, the best thing to do is to practice breathing and for four seconds, hold for four out, hold for four, hold for four. It’s almost like boxers in the corner getting their breath in between rounds. So, if you’re not speaking once again, it will lower your temperature. It’ll put more oxygen in you and it’ll help you think. I also believe in luxury of time.
If we need to do a split decision, I understand that, Hanna, if you’re allowing me in this heated moment when emotions are there and people could say something to, to take a time out to where we can sleep on it, write a draft, not send it, and think about it. There’s a very good chance the next day, we’ll be apologizing for our tones and moving forward even stronger than before, and so, it really depends on the value of the relationship.
If someone is completely disrespecting you and they’re never going to see your point of view and they don’t even care about you, just be courteous and just try to get out of their way. But if it’s somebody that’s just having a moment, or you’re not properly explaining yourself because it’s too emotional and you need to slow down for a minute, then by all means, it’s a very delicate situation and your vocabulary should be very, very selective and you should speak in a loud whisper because no one will misinterpret it as being aggressive or yelling.
And I think those are some of the best ways that people, especially now, will be able to save a Thanksgiving dinner.
Touché. Well, that loud whisper could also come across as a touch patronizing. So, how do you strike that balance, Richard?
Depending on how well you know somebody. Because if you’ve known someone for ten years and someone speaks to you like that, it’s almost like a come to a clarification moment. It’s almost like one of your best friends pulling you aside and telling you to do or do not something, you realize that tone is serious. But maybe if it’s somebody that’s brand new, as I mentioned, we don’t know them very well.
You could be catching them at a moment where they’re holding themselves together and not crying, or they’re holding back such excitement, they want to dance in the streets. So, I believe that the greatest thing that we could do to somebody is just accept them for who they are at that moment, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt. And if you need to ask for a clarification question, never ask a why, but ask more of a how.
And then possibly repeat what you see to them to see if you are on the same page, and I’ve had people when they are in a certain chaotic situation, they may seem out of character. And I always believe you judge someone’s character during chaos. And during COVID, I saw people that I depended upon, that disappointed me so, and then others that were just there stepped up to the plate as leader.
So, it really is about that moment. And if they’re willing to make themselves vulnerable, Hanna, and to show you exactly who they are because you and I can have a thousand wins. But that one loss, if you and I can work through it together, we’re good to go for the next 50 years. That’s the sort of real old school building bricks that can withstand the test of time.
I couldn’t agree more. I mean, that’s really what builds trust, and people’s character really comes through during stress. It reveals who they are. They’ve been that all along, but they may have been putting masks on. I’m curious, Richard. It seems to me that when it comes to conflict management skills, that there’s a factual piece to the puzzle.
I mean, can people agree on the facts? Maybe it’s the benefit of the product or just agreeing on, well, what happened, who did what, when. Just the facts, right? And also, then the emotional piece which you’ve touched on as to how someone interprets what they’ve experienced, or what they believe and what it means for them. Do you have some strategies for helping us navigate that?
I most certainly do. And Hanna, I just got to throw a compliment at – that’s why you got one of the best shows out there. What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful question. Self-improvement is self-analysis. Think about how many times the masters have failed before they got to that point. And my favorite part is a Rube Goldberg experiment, these non-electrical machines. It’s the 99 times it fails. It’s also the one time that it works. We have a quality control department, and so we judge agents on KPIs and we listen to calls.
And so, it’s like a mirror, but phonetically where you can listen to this, and so proof is in the pudding. If your tie is not straight, if your hair is a little messy, the mirror doesn’t lie, and when the agents are after being properly trained, Hanna. But when they listen to their calls and they realized they were interrupting, they were shouting, or they did not use the military alphabet when confirming an exotic name, so an email bounced back. I really don’t have to say anything.
I’ll just make the look and shrug my shoulders and the little silly guilt. And they’ll look at me and they’ll stop me and go, “Yes, Richard at ABC 123.” They’ll tell me areas in which they could improve.
And I see that as a sense of maturity. They are more than willing to allow me to critique, guide them, and be a mentor but my friend, you and I both know that the best way somebody grows is through that personal growth. And so, by having all these resources and departments, they understand when they listen to these calls and they could have been a lot more engaged or courteous on the phone.
So, I have that to my advantage. And secondly, Hanna, I believe in dedicated practice, you’re never going to get there unless you practice when the cameras aren’t on and your friends aren’t around, and we’re speakers. So, we have the luxury where all the world’s a stage. I don’t need a computer or to log in to something or to bring equipment with me. You and I could be hanging out in Winslow, Arizona on a corner and just talking and having a great time. That’s what we do.
And we’re only improving in those skills. And so, I always encourage people to use the world as a playground and as a sandbox and just to see what you can do in regard to increasing your communication skills.
Well, that takes quite a bit of self-awareness that not everybody has. How can we improve that?
When you listen to your voice, if it’s way too loud, if it’s too scratchy or the person keeps asking you, “Hanna, can you repeat that?” Obviously, you’re not speaking loud enough. And so, since we are concentrating on once again second language, it’s an intense concentration and listening for short periods of time. So, I’ve had them write words out phonetically and still learn how to spell it correctly so you can almost guide through certain conversations.
And also, I will just do smaller piles instead of just as I mentioned in trying to conquer 10 minutes, why don’t we just conquer on 10 one-minute conversations? And that might be something easier for somebody to handle because if you can get, as I mentioned, these smaller checkpoints, it still adds up a little at a time. It equals a lot in the end. I’d rather have 10 dimes than the dollar because it seems like I know what I’m doing. And so just have them slow down on these checkpoints because how about this?
When the client is saying your name, they’re engaged. You’ve anchored them. If they’re calling you sir or ma’am, interrupting, and just ending conversations that to tell sign as well. There’s not a connection there. So, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with taking steps back because there’s might be a chance where if you would re-explain something, if you didn’t interrupt and allow them to speak a little more, it’s one of those standoffs that’s due to break and pause.
You might be able to fix it, or if you’re bold enough, Hanna, just say flat out, “Hanna, is there anything I can do today to earn your business,” or, “Hanna, once again, you were mentioning that you were interested in this area. What are you looking for?” So, open ended questions sometimes can assist you but as I mentioned, these are strangers or friends you haven’t met yet.
And if someone’s yelling at you, it’s like this. If you’re not breaking the law, don’t be afraid of a cop. And if you’re not cheating on a test, why be afraid of a teacher? And don’t be afraid of me. Hanna, put your checkbook away. I’m not selling anything. I’m not going to force your hand. But as a wise king, if you’re willing to listen to all of your subjects, there’s a very, very good chance your kingdom will flourish and you’ll make some of your best decisions.
And scientists love when they’re questioned by their colleagues. And when these individuals ask me really intelligent questions, it gives me pause. And I get so excited that they really see the value in what I’m offering.
That’s wonderful. And I think the one thing that I really appreciate you mentioning is the value of evaluating these smaller conversations because I think especially for difficult conversations, that someone is afraid is going to provoke conflict. Being able to practice and being able to get comfortable with those short snippets can help build their confidence so that they’re more prepared for the bigger conversation.
So, I think that’s a powerful concept. In your opinion, what’s the most important thing we can add to our conflict management skill toolbox?
Asking someone if you may make a suggestion prior to setting something, they might not like what you hear, but it reduces it almost by half. And if you’re going to make a suggestion about somebody and you know they might get offended or they might be embarrassed, before you make the suggestion, refer back to yourself. If you’re this mentor with wisdom, let them know what happened when you forgot to put too much gas in your car and you ran out of gas. May I make a suggestion?
It might be an extra five bucks to get to the beach because five years ago, I was in the convertible, he and I were having fun. The next thing you know, I ran out of gas and ruined the day. And it’s just an excellent, excellent, excellent way to diffuse that situation and to give that sort of advice to wisdom. I love that sort of stuff, but Hanna, I can’t thank you enough for having me as a guest here.
I love sharing these ideas and it’s nothing to compromise ethics, values, or morals, but there is nothing wrong with being observant and knowing when to add, subtract, or just stay silent to your advantage and letting somebody get their opinions out.
And I’ve seen most of my relationships positive. The only conflict management I have from time to time is if somebody leaves without a two weeks’ notice because you figured we could start strong, why don’t we end strong? And so, my conflict is having to call the client and let them know what happened. But as we discussed earlier, I already have a solution in place and so it happened.
But I do know this. The time they were with me, I never gave them the walk of shame. It’s a natural attrition. Amazon’s in Costa Rica. I’ll lose them, Hanna, to a scheduling conflict. Maybe their boyfriend or girlfriend works there that’s close to their house but don’t ever say that you and I defaced them or made them cry. We’re the best coaches, Hanna. All we do is look for ways to delegate and promote people.
And the greatest satisfaction you and I get is walking those rows and standing next to someone who’s having breakthroughs, shedding skin, getting so much better and becoming much more marketable. That’s paying it forward, in my opinion.
I think you’re right, Richard. It’s about the breakthroughs. So, thank you. I appreciate you and the work that you do in helping people improve their conflict management skills.
And if you’re listening and you’d like to know more about Richard Blank, that information, as well as a transcript of this interview, can be found in the show notes at BusinessConfidentialRadio.com. Thanks so much for listening. Please be sure to tell your friends about the show and leave a positive review. We’ll be back next Thursday with another episode of Business Confidential Now.
So, until then, have a great day and an even better tomorrow.
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